One kagillion dollars ! *MUHAHAHAH*

It emerged today that the german company that had been supplying Zimbabwe with paper to print its currency on, has been pressured to cease their supply.

Time ran an interesting story that raised two questions in my mind.

Firstly, what do you pay a company that prints money ?

My first thought was that, surely the printing firm is not going to accept the currency they just printed for you. That doesn't make sense.

Diamonds ? Not really a safe payment, because their prices are fairly overinflated (different story). Gold ? How much gold can a country have ? Also, what sort of rates would we be talking about ? 10 grams of gold for one kazillion Zimbabwean dollars ?

What if you're a really small, poor, independent country that's somewhere in the himalayas ? Would the printing company accept payment in goats milk and yak cheese ?

Second thought was sparked by this quote:

Hyperinflation, estimated at 1 million to 2 million percent per year, is running rampant in the economically devastated country. Zimbabwe's central bank cannot keep up with the demand for ever larger bills and the paper to print them on.

Bank note denominations now run to 75 billion Zimbabwean dollars. A pint of milk, if it can be found at all, can now cost 3 billion dollars, or about 30 U.S. cents.

To put this in perspective, most western countries central banks try to target inflation around the 2-3 percent mark annually. If you do the math, Zimbabwean inflation is growing that much every minute!

I worked out a scenario of what I imagine to be a typical shopping transaction in an upper-middle-class Zimbabwean tai-tai's life:

Tai-tai: How much are the bananas ?

Vendor: Looks at her, then looks at his wrist and holds his breath

Tai-tai: Excuse me !? How much are the bananas !?

Vendor: *after a pause the vendor exhales with a sigh of relief* 100 billion Zimbabwean dollars.

Tai-tai: How about the oranges ?

Vendor: *takes a deep breath again and holds it*

Tai-tai: (starting to get irritated) Excuse me! How much are the oranges !?

Vendor: *pauses, looks at his wrist, counts down, then exhales in relief* 150 billion

Tai-tai: Ok. Give me two bananas

Vendor: *takes a deep breath again and holds it, packing two bananas into a plastic bag. he holds it in his hand just out of her reach*

Tai-tai: *holds her wallet, ready to pay* What are you waiting for ? Give them to me.

Vendor: *exhales in relief* certainly madam, that'll be 212 billion

Tai-tai: What !? You said they were 100 billion each just 2 minutes ago. Are you getting enough oxygen man ?! *taps her head making madman gestures*

Vendor: Yes madam, that was 2 minutes ago. Prices are going up every minute!

Tai-tai: You're crazy! But my son really wants a banana split tonight. *pays the vendor reluctantly* and why do you keep holding your breath and looking at your wrist ?

Vendor: *takes the cash* You see madam, my watch is broken and I know I can only hold my breath for 30 seconds so that's the only way I can keep track of time!

Ok. That was pretty lame. But you hafta admit, being a kagillionaire sounds pretty cool, even if its in Zimbabwean dollars and delivered by an evil, delusional despot.